Ah.
Hi.
Thanks for clicking the link that led you to this blog... Now it is whether you can bear to read its contents. This blog has been labelled 'cheam' by most people whom I know
(therefore highlighting their incompetency in the English language... hehehehehe xD no I'm just joking, don't pelt me with rotten veggies.. *splat!*)
Each entry in this blog are like pieces of my disillusioned self... Good luck to the one who dares brave into uncharted territory... the chasms of my mind.
I know you don't like what you see. Yes... I hear your displeasure already... See the red button on the top right hand corner? Yes that. The one with the little 'x'... Click that...
And for those who wish to stay, Arigato gozaimasu~! Please tag... ^^
Use the hearts on the left to navigate =)
Disclaimer
Moi pathetic self
Cheeryl Tan (a.k.a. JoBiChI~sAn ^^)
Currently 16. And VERY screwed up.
Libra
October 17th xD
Year of the Goat
Blood type B+ (tasty, because blood all around is...)
(Did I mention that I play with blood?)
Super-sensitive to the sun (vampire mah~)(never want to see the sun again...)
Die hard anime and manga fan! And dying for it...
Future Manga Artist.. I'll tell my stories to the world!
Obsession with... MUSHROOMS... <3
Choir!
Love science... All branches of it... But....
Love to sing
Love writing poems n songs
Love to draw
Loves the power of 'cheaminology' >_< Love writing LoOoOoOoOonnnggggg compos...
Love... A beautiful reality! <3
Where is the love?
Morbid and emo-ing... Again.
Wonders about Life
Counsellor! But can't even help myself...
Dreams of making own universes... While attempting to withdraw into my own...
Contorted in millions of philosophies
Japanese bands ROCK!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
NOW PLAYING:
Just click on it. It won't kill you.
Currently 16. And VERY screwed up.
Libra
October 17th xD
Year of the Goat
Blood type B+ (tasty, because blood all around is...)
(Did I mention that I play with blood?)
Super-sensitive to the sun (vampire mah~)(never want to see the sun again...)
Die hard anime and manga fan! And dying for it...
Future Manga Artist.. I'll tell my stories to the world!
Obsession with... MUSHROOMS... <3
Choir!
Love science... All branches of it... But....
Love to sing
Love writing poems n songs
Love to draw
Loves the power of 'cheaminology' >_< Love writing LoOoOoOoOonnnggggg compos...
Love... A beautiful reality! <3
Where is the love?
Morbid and emo-ing... Again.
Wonders about Life
Counsellor! But can't even help myself...
Dreams of making own universes... While attempting to withdraw into my own...
Contorted in millions of philosophies
Japanese bands ROCK!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
NOW PLAYING:
Just click on it. It won't kill you.
The archives
31 May 2008
I'm going off to Japan. Tonight. YAY!
And I finished my assignment before my muse left me. 5-7am sleep and yet still alive til 8pm. WHOOHOO! Am counting on my boiboi to submit it for me. Wuve my kawaii squishy porinu-chan X3
Watch out for a blog post about the three men/boys/idiots/squishies who made a difference in my life. I've been putting it off for so long I decided I will put it here soon XD
Ja mata, minna! Gonna miss a lot of people... A lot...
And I finished my assignment before my muse left me. 5-7am sleep and yet still alive til 8pm. WHOOHOO! Am counting on my boiboi to submit it for me. Wuve my kawaii squishy porinu-chan X3
Watch out for a blog post about the three men/boys/idiots/squishies who made a difference in my life. I've been putting it off for so long I decided I will put it here soon XD
Ja mata, minna! Gonna miss a lot of people... A lot...
My WoRlD rEvOlVeS rOuNd and RoUnD mY LiFe sTorY... My DreAmS and HoPeS, mY reNeWeD sTreNgtH... And My NEW LoVe!
Jobichi~san whacked you at 4:49:00 PM
27 May 2008
It's time to shut up and do work.
I really should stop being the bitch I am, stop worrying about other people's opinions... Not like anyone cares that much anyway. Work has to be done. I really should stop hurling the people around me in my emotional whirlwind. Especially my family, and some of my closest friends... Maybe I lost one. But does it matter?
Like the wind, I shall go... Few can catch up with me. Especially when I'm now a storm...
I really should stop being the bitch I am, stop worrying about other people's opinions... Not like anyone cares that much anyway. Work has to be done. I really should stop hurling the people around me in my emotional whirlwind. Especially my family, and some of my closest friends... Maybe I lost one. But does it matter?
Like the wind, I shall go... Few can catch up with me. Especially when I'm now a storm...
My WoRlD rEvOlVeS rOuNd and RoUnD mY LiFe sTorY... My DreAmS and HoPeS, mY reNeWeD sTreNgtH... And My NEW LoVe!
Jobichi~san whacked you at 11:39:00 PM
25 May 2008
I want to sleep.
But I dare not.
There's so much to be done,
Yet I find no courage to do it...
Like Alere, I have lost track of time. The rivers of time, I see it. I see my reflection... But the rest is but a blur. I can't see it anymore. I do nothing but look away...
" Where in my fragile body am I supposed to put the strength to stand?"
I no longer have that energy to continue walking. The future seems even further than before... I don't see it anymore. I don't see how my existence serves any purpose anymore. I cannot see me. When I look into the mirror, I see a stranger. When I talk to others, I can't find myself.
Who am I?
Is this another change? Another huge revolution in my life? What will happen? How many people will I hurt this time? Who will they be? What actions I have taken... I do not understand them. Even I, do not know my motives anymore. Not anymore...
I'm scared.
But I dare not.
There's so much to be done,
Yet I find no courage to do it...
Like Alere, I have lost track of time. The rivers of time, I see it. I see my reflection... But the rest is but a blur. I can't see it anymore. I do nothing but look away...
" Where in my fragile body am I supposed to put the strength to stand?"
I no longer have that energy to continue walking. The future seems even further than before... I don't see it anymore. I don't see how my existence serves any purpose anymore. I cannot see me. When I look into the mirror, I see a stranger. When I talk to others, I can't find myself.
Who am I?
Is this another change? Another huge revolution in my life? What will happen? How many people will I hurt this time? Who will they be? What actions I have taken... I do not understand them. Even I, do not know my motives anymore. Not anymore...
I'm scared.
My WoRlD rEvOlVeS rOuNd and RoUnD mY LiFe sTorY... My DreAmS and HoPeS, mY reNeWeD sTreNgtH... And My NEW LoVe!
Jobichi~san whacked you at 1:41:00 AM
23 May 2008
I REVIVE THY DEAD BLOG YATTA~~~~~~~~~~~~
Photoshop.
Man.
My shoulders and back ache. Badly.
The first term of poly life is coming to an end... I have a pretty cool class, with its fair amount of cool people. Not enough... chio bu... though... XD Met some old friends, saw some familiar faces...
Now sitting in school, staring at my laptop. And I just realised, this is my first post on my lappy! Hurray~
Trying to develop a treatment for my script for a module called 'Storytelling and Story Boarding'. A treatment is like a written version of the script (LOL) in such a way you describe everything, instead of doing it in script format. And it has to be presentable to your prospective clients. In this case, my lecturer... I wanted to do a story on a girl I created during one of the lessons. But I couldn't find a good way to portray her loneliness... She's obsessed with blood (like me!) and she kills and kills... But she actually kills criminals.
Anyway...
The new story I'm working on... is even lamer. I had been toying with it ever since me and my sister role-played with it (yes, we both do ALOT of spoken role-play... I'm not sure what to call it, but... yeah.)
And even this story, I can't quite develop. Sigh.
So much has occurred (again) in the time I had not posted... Right now, I'm a tad trifled. It seems I'd courted my own death again... The nightmare will replay itself, like a broken reel... In a cinema only I can see... part of this came from Dirty, OP1 of Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro. But what the heck? I got described as a Neuro. And sadly it is pretty true... "Disregarding humans". I don't know to what extent now, but yes... It is there. Somehow. Those words he said stung. Hard. Even though it wasn't face to face... I felt like the nightmare was starting again. Those walls of ice... Slowly piling up, slowly rising... The only thing I know how to do.
"Being in love with two guys." My laopuo once said this to me XD And I think she's right. And I'm not being fair... to myself, even if not to both of them. One, I embrace with all my might. The other, I continue to confuse... Deluding myself, denying my own feelings... I guess I have no choice. To protect myself, the selfish person I am. The scarred one I was. Now, I no longer know what to say to that person. I fear the nightmare. I fear I might say the wrong things again, and history will repeat itself. I'm scared... ...
And I'm FREAKING TIRED. 4am-7.30am sleep is not enough for me. Thank heavens I slept more yesterday, or today would be impossible to last through. Japanese class 5.30-7.30pm.. Gotta get home discuss the script for the video shoot, make a cutesy fake microphone XD add the final touches to my collage, so that it can be printed soon... ...
How many hearts must I break, before mine totally shatters and disappears? I don't have many left. My mind, a mangled commodity. It's clearly reflected in my collage. And where do I find the courage to say 'sorry', and promise not to do it again? I don't know...
Work. Back to work.
Photoshop.
Man.
My shoulders and back ache. Badly.
The first term of poly life is coming to an end... I have a pretty cool class, with its fair amount of cool people. Not enough... chio bu... though... XD Met some old friends, saw some familiar faces...
Now sitting in school, staring at my laptop. And I just realised, this is my first post on my lappy! Hurray~
Trying to develop a treatment for my script for a module called 'Storytelling and Story Boarding'. A treatment is like a written version of the script (LOL) in such a way you describe everything, instead of doing it in script format. And it has to be presentable to your prospective clients. In this case, my lecturer... I wanted to do a story on a girl I created during one of the lessons. But I couldn't find a good way to portray her loneliness... She's obsessed with blood (like me!) and she kills and kills... But she actually kills criminals.
Anyway...
The new story I'm working on... is even lamer. I had been toying with it ever since me and my sister role-played with it (yes, we both do ALOT of spoken role-play... I'm not sure what to call it, but... yeah.)
“99% of all aliens who come to Earth as tourists always land on one exact spot. It is the home of the Alien Escort.”
Would you read a story or watch an anime based on this sentence? XDAnd even this story, I can't quite develop. Sigh.
So much has occurred (again) in the time I had not posted... Right now, I'm a tad trifled. It seems I'd courted my own death again... The nightmare will replay itself, like a broken reel... In a cinema only I can see... part of this came from Dirty, OP1 of Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro. But what the heck? I got described as a Neuro. And sadly it is pretty true... "Disregarding humans". I don't know to what extent now, but yes... It is there. Somehow. Those words he said stung. Hard. Even though it wasn't face to face... I felt like the nightmare was starting again. Those walls of ice... Slowly piling up, slowly rising... The only thing I know how to do.
"Being in love with two guys." My laopuo once said this to me XD And I think she's right. And I'm not being fair... to myself, even if not to both of them. One, I embrace with all my might. The other, I continue to confuse... Deluding myself, denying my own feelings... I guess I have no choice. To protect myself, the selfish person I am. The scarred one I was. Now, I no longer know what to say to that person. I fear the nightmare. I fear I might say the wrong things again, and history will repeat itself. I'm scared... ...
And I'm FREAKING TIRED. 4am-7.30am sleep is not enough for me. Thank heavens I slept more yesterday, or today would be impossible to last through. Japanese class 5.30-7.30pm.. Gotta get home discuss the script for the video shoot, make a cutesy fake microphone XD add the final touches to my collage, so that it can be printed soon... ...
How many hearts must I break, before mine totally shatters and disappears? I don't have many left. My mind, a mangled commodity. It's clearly reflected in my collage. And where do I find the courage to say 'sorry', and promise not to do it again? I don't know...
Work. Back to work.
My WoRlD rEvOlVeS rOuNd and RoUnD mY LiFe sTorY... My DreAmS and HoPeS, mY reNeWeD sTreNgtH... And My NEW LoVe!
Jobichi~san whacked you at 4:25:00 PM