Yahhh~~~~ Update~!!! Lol.
Hmm.. Had a very weird dream last night. Clarence was in it (suckaa u looked so horrid xD yeah~~~~ Lol no harm intended) Somehow he was tied to a post on a stage(think by leonard, he appeared briefly in the dream o_O) and he got pwned by my lil sis (she decorated his hair in blue hair clips >_<) Then he had that puppy-dog eye expression... Begging to be let go as he had to listen to my 'grandma stories'... what a laugh! then somehow the scenery changed to my cousins' place (think I miss them too much T-T) and he somehow got away.. O well. maybe it means something... Then my cousin (a year older than me) came in with a plastic bag full of rabbits! They were absolutely cuddly and soft and furry... I held two brown ones in my hands xD
Well... I don't get it.
But the rabbits were cute <333
My subconscious was most definitely cursing Clarence even in my sleep though... Hahaha... But seriously, seriously... Why the hell does Suchi say he's my husband? -_-" Heavens' sake, I'd rather die than get laughed at for having a 'husband' younger than me. Neither does he want such a fate, does he? So... SUCHI SHUT UR BLOODY GAP. It's already stressful enough to have to cope with the 'men' in my life. Don't try adding another... If you consider that walking coconut 'human'.. Yes Clarence you can start making voodoo dolls.. want some thread and rope? Nevermind. I think the 4 brown rabbits will eat the rope up...
Tired... hormones wrecking havoc in my already pain-stricken body. Tomorrow's the EL O Level Oral Exams... for me at least. I am SO not ready. Kill me, O lords up above... I really don't feel like doing a darn thing. All the doubts can never seem to be cleared. It seems all I can do is let the tears fall and fall.. Cried myself to sleep. My O level CL results were good. A2 eh.. The DPA has gotten me the offer of my dreams in SP.. Why?
Why does everything fail to raise my downtrodden spirit? Is it just because I'm so tired that I've got no energy left to scream for joy, or is it because there doesn't seem to be anything to be happy about anymore? The world spins as always, a dying world's fate in sight... Perhaps the earth's plight mirrors my emotion.. The skies send showers down as torrents flood my own heart. My room darkens as my mood pales away.. The news show nothing but sad tales (at least, whatever news I ever read or hear)..
Each step I take, brings me closer and closer to the end. Where do we go after the end? It just stops, doesn't it? And we can never see, touch, hear, taste or feel the world again. It just ends. Maybe for those in different religions, things are different. But after all, when we die the elements within us just cease to work their mysterious energies which bring about life. We're just a bunch of elements, controlled by a bunch of elements and the world's environment, which is still a bunch of elements. How pathetic life seems.
But somehow I believe there's more. The spark which caused life to come about was probably not the only thing which gave us the biodiversity of life today.. Bunches of elements are still dead things. Dead things can't taste, touch, hear or see things... dead things don't feel anger, sorrow, sadness or despair... Neither can they feel happiness, joy, or the power of dreams... Then again, what are dreams?
Maybe, just maybe, it's the life force that keeps us going.
And, maybe I should thank Clarence xD coz if not for the funny dream after my sobs, I wouldn't be a lil more upbeat than yesterday... The people who appear in my dreams are commendable. Not anyone can step into the giant realm of alternate universes which is my mind... Yet those who don't appear, may have conquered it all...
"Happiness is something you choose to have, and you can have it your whole life if you want to."
You're right, Sencho. Thanks for bringing me that happiness.
My WoRlD rEvOlVeS rOuNd and RoUnD mY LiFe sTorY... My DreAmS and HoPeS, mY reNeWeD sTreNgtH... And My NEW LoVe!
Jobichi~san whacked you at 3:31:00 PM
