Cheeryl Tan (a.k.a. JoBiChI~sAn ^^)
Currently 16. And VERY screwed up.
Libra
October 17th xD
Year of the Goat
Blood type B+ (tasty, because blood all around is...)
(Did I mention that I play with blood?)
Super-sensitive to the sun (vampire mah~)(never want to see the sun again...)
Die hard anime and manga fan! And dying for it...
Future Manga Artist.. I'll tell my stories to the world!
Obsession with... MUSHROOMS... <3
Choir!
Love science... All branches of it... But....
Love to sing
Love writing poems n songs
Love to draw
Loves the power of 'cheaminology' >_< Love writing LoOoOoOoOonnnggggg compos...
Love... A beautiful reality! <3
Where is the love?
Morbid and emo-ing... Again.
Wonders about Life
Counsellor! But can't even help myself...
Dreams of making own universes... While attempting to withdraw into my own...
Contorted in millions of philosophies
Japanese bands ROCK!

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January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yay! Finally! The keyboard's within my reach!

Ohhh how I missed my lil blog *muacks*I think I'll go crazy if I were to study study study...

But... If I don't, then... my dreams, my ambitions... my will...

But... But...

Recently been talking to a good friend of mine, besides counselling alot more difficult people than I ever imagined (but succeeded somehow =)). I poured out my love woes at him (lol) as I did to Xiin n chuunney xD He then told me something:


"To do what's right, one may have to give up his or her dreams..."


I protested. Violently. But at the mention of that someone's name, I faltered. Why?

My ideals were set in stone. My heart was cast of steel... My soul, chained with all its worth to an unmovable pillar of despair... But it seems this person just melted the steel... Is his existence going to destroy the pillar which holds me, the stone which guides me?

And my friend pointed that out to me. "At the mere mention of his name, you say it's a different story... You say your dreams matter to you more than anything else but when HE comes into the picture, it's different... You're willing to bend your own rules..."

HEY. What IS wrong with me?

I do not think. I work. I push his image out of my mind. Hoping. Hoping he'll respond. Hoping...
I work. I do not think. I pretend...
My senses are dulled...

Hey, not bad. At least finally I'm doing my work. At least my mind is concentrating on what's right. But...

What am I doing to myself?

Does it really bother me so? Why?

He knows who he is. I don't blame him for not giving me an answer. I bet I'm too difficult to approach in the first place... Yeah.

Intimidating. Isn't that what I am in class? You yearn to be accepted, but you become ostracised. I am the opposite; I wish not to be accepted. I ostracise my class. Isn't that right, 4e2? If anyone does see this at all. I work. I work. No one can stop that... No backstabbing or love woes will stand in my way. The walls are getting higher and harder. The heat cannot harm my icy gloom...

But it seems... His presence can do more things than I expected.

Just... Answer... Me... I've faced rejections. Not like if you do that too I'll die or something. If it's 'cos you don't want to hurt me, you're wrong. By leaving things hanging in the air, I dare not even think of you. I don't know whether it's right, so I stop. The stirring song edges against the cold, hard pillars... At least if I know you feel nothing of the sort, I can put mine to rest. But without an answer... My heart threatens to tear out of its shell...

The robin yearns to sing, but its throat strangled by thistles and briar, its chest squeezed by metal chains, its beak jammed with stones... At least tell the robin it need not sing anymore. Then it can rest in peace...